Friday, November 05, 2010

Top and Bottom 10 Monster List

Time for a pointless post.

I’m sure other blogs or forum posts have covered things like this, but I don’t care.
My blog / my opinions.

This time I’m going to give my top and bottom 10 monsters from the various D&D monster manuals I’ve seen and read over the years.
If I missed one you like or loathe, speak up. I have a lot of books, but not a lot of time to go through those books.

We’re going to start with the top 10 critters I like.

#10 Goblinoids
Let’s face it, without these hapless walking XP punching bags, many PC’s wouldn’t make it past 3rd level.
Kobolds, goblins, orcs, hobgoblins, bugbears, and more are the bread and butter of low level adventures.
Sure a DM could design a campaign without them, but it would be a bit more work than I’d feel like putting in for low-level adventures.

#9 Gargantua and Dire Monsters
From Basic D&D (Campaign or Master books) come the gargantua; larger versions of low level monsters.
In Basic D&D a carrion crawler was scary to low level PC’s, but barely a speed bump past level 7. But if you throw in a 50’ long carrion crawler, they might notice it.
Dire creatures were added in 3rd edition (except for the dire wolf, their namesake) which were the same thing.

#8 Balhannoth
There were only a handful of creatures that didn’t suck in the latter days of 3.5’s Monster Manuals, and the Balhannoth was one of them.
This slimy mess of tentacles and a central mouth had one amazing ability – if it grabbed you your magic was nullified.
In 3.5E, having no magic effects meant you were half the PC you used to be.
The 4E Balhannoth is like the 3.5 version only in appearance, and is less interesting.

#7 Big, Bad, Intelligent, Boss Undead – a.k.a. Death Knights & Liches
I don’t have a direct reason for why they’re on the list other than they’re cool.
What PC sees one and doesn’t pause before rolling initiative?

#6 War Trolls
The war troll is in the same boat as the balhannoth, a cool monster surrounded by a pile of suck in a monster manual.
A normal troll is nothing to sneeze at, considering it’s a regenerating ball of claws and teeth.
A war troll is a trained, armored, armed, regenerating ball of claws and teeth.
A kitten is just a furry ball of claws and teeth. Yeah they’re cute, but those claws are frkn razors man.

#5 Feral Demons
The idea of this creature is awesome.
Running it in combat is not unless well prepared.
A feral demon (from Creature Collection I) is a single monster that has been split up into multiple versions, so they all act with one mind.
The kicker is that when one dies, all of the others get stronger (more hit points, damage, attack bonuses, etc.)
What starts as half a dozen creatures no stronger than a bugbear, ends up as a single creature that hits like a truck.

#4 Rust Monsters
It’s no secret that I love the rust monster.
The original one, not the pussified, half-ass rust monster you see now.
When it hit you, or you hit it with a weapon, something metallic was going to rust away.
“Oh no! My magic weapon is gone!”
“Yeah, and?”
Any DM worth his salt would put something better in the module to replace lost things.
A lost level I can understand bitching about, but lost gear is easily replaceable.
Nothing makes fighters more afraid than the idea of losing their full platemail +2.

#3 Original Outer-planar Beings
By that I mean the original 1st Edition AD&D angels, devas, devils, demons, demodands, and daemons.
Granted they really haven’t changed since their creation, but I felt they lost something when 2E AD&D cleaned them up and gave them names that hid what they were originally called.
I saw nothing wrong with them as is, but I guess if you get enough nutbars to yell, then you just have to change words around.
Hmmm, maybe I should put real life humans as my #1 least liked monster.

#2 Blue Dragons
As I’ve always read it, blue dragons are the noblest of the evil dragons.
They are indeed evil, and will go about the usual things that evil dragons do, but they do it with style and a personal set of rules and codes, giving it an honor-bound existence.
To me, blue dragons are the “knights” of the evil dragons.
Granted, most of these opinions are from my reading of the Dragonlance books.

#1 Kythons
I love these evil, insectoid monstrosities.
They’re vicious, heartless, and cruel demon-spawn.
In combat they do ridiculous amounts of damage for their challenge rating.
There is nothing redeemable about them as a monster.
They have no obvious agenda other than killing and they enjoy that immensely.
For these simple reasons, they’ve earned the #1 spot.

Honorable mention to Modrons
I’m a math loving guy, so I have a soft-spot for these almost-useless, law-abiding “creatures”.
I’ve never used one in a game, ever. Mainly because I haven’t found a good, and sane, excuse to throw a walking sphere, cube, tetrahedron, etc. into a game.

Now for the bottom 10.

#10 The Mimic
Here’s how to speed up a combat when there’s only one mimic; “It hits you with a surprise assault and does x damage. Now we roll initiative. Oh it’s last? Well then. You hack it pieces and it gets one more attack in before you slaughter it to goo. Here’s some XP and treasure.”
My point – they get a surprise attack and then don’t last 2 rounds. So to use them, they need something more than that.
Perhaps this has been fixed in 4E. Not that I’ve cared.

#9 Hydras
4E has fixed this creature a bit, making it less of an irritation to run.
Keeping the math straight on this thing made it more trouble than it was worth.
Which head has enough damage to die?
How much damage on the body?
And so on.

#8 Dragon-men
Draconians, dragonborn, dragonspawn, blah, blah, blah
Draconians were interesting back when Dragonlance was new to me.
But anymore the “special-ness” of dragons being rare and powerful creatures is lost when damn near everything has some dragon blood in it.

#7 Yuan-ti
I don’t have a good reason for disliking yuan-ti, I just don’t like them.
I totally did not understand why WotC kept them out of the SRD.

#6 Color-wheel Dragons
White, Black, Green, Blue, and Red are acceptable.
Yellow, Purple, and Brown are not.
Mating different dragon species to get an entirely new one just seemed like some obsessive-compulsive art nerd had to fill in the gaps that he saw and couldn’t let go.
Note: I am referring to the original color-wheel dragons, not the current ones (who have mostly just been renamed).

#5 Rot Grubs
Hey, there’s some treasure on that rotting monster.
Oh no! I’ve been attacked by a white maggot that is now chewing its way to my heart (through my arm).
Unless I cut off my arm or have a cleric right next to me with the exact spell needed I will die.
Yeah…that’s a good idea for a monster.

#4 Githyanki & Githzerai
Never has so much attention been paid to a race of creatures I’ve never ran.
Yeah, they’ve got a nice history.
No, I’m not interested in using them because I rarely have the PC’s go to the place where the Gith live.

#3 Lycanthropes
Yeah, let’s use some creatures in a fight that can totally derail my campaign with a disease than can destroy a town.

#2 Ogre-magi (a.k.a. Oni)
Ogre-magi always felt out of place as a monster.
They were pointlessly complicated in 1E AD&D and I never used them. As the editions changed, this monster barely did.
I don’t know if 4E ever fixed them because I never bothered to look.
There’s only so much crap I’m willing to look at before I just change the channel.

#1 Warforged
They
Are
Robots
!
“No they’re not!”
Bullshit
This boils down to “If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it’s a duck.”

Honorable mention goes to the Shrieker.
This monster cries out like a little girl if it detects even the slightest light or motion.
It is the monster equivalent to a beer-can trap on a door.
The best use I’ve shriekers put to was in a PC game. Until you killed the shriekers, monsters would endless spawn to attack you.

And there it is.
Do I have good enough reasons for my listing?
Probably not.
But you know I don’t care.